I never knew it would be this hard. I had thought the same strength I had THROUGH Russ' illness would be the same way I would be now. But God is still the same, and Russ is GONE now, not just sick. It is so final. You know that place where you get butterflies when you see the person you love. In that spot right now, I literally have pain, like a big hole, a feeling I cannot explain.
My hardest part, though, is when the boys have questions. I have had to lie down with Jayden twice at night to hold him while he cries. They just don't understand, and that hurts pretty deeply. Russ and I decided to trust God through this, no matter what. That is the CHOICE we made, and I still make.
In your situation, what choice are YOU going to make? I want you to know that if you have asked for prayer here or on facebook, I have prayed then and whenever I think of you! Feel free to add me as a friend. I hope you can place your trust in God, NO MATTER WHAT !
P.S. Those in Google Reader will have to click over for the video. I do not know why it doesn't show up there ?!?