One Year Ago

My little family received news that rocked our world! I still remember that day like it was yesterday. One year ago, my late husband Russ, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver and Colon cancer. He had an ultrasound at 9 in the morning, and he called me around 10 saying they found spots. Then he asked if instead of coming home, could he go see our pastor. I said most definitely. I spent the new few hours calling everyone that was most important (family, and closest friends) to tell them what we knew. See up until this day, there were so many other possibilities on the table. Russ had been through 3 weeks of tests already. By the time he came home, people were already over, and while I was glad for the support, I wish we would have had that day to ourselves. I knew my hubby well, and he was not a people person. I could see in his eyes, he just wanted me. To be honest, he probably would have even liked the boys gone for the day. But Russ was also gracious, and everyone stayed, helped with yard work, and talked until late evening. That night though, we held each other and cried, not really talking. While it was nice to finally know, it was a devastating answer. I can honestly say, that not once did I say it was unfair, or even think it. I have never been angry with God for this, either. I can truly say that God has never failed me or let me down. In fact, without him, I would never have made it this far, and have many things to be grateful for! There are so many others less fortunate than me and I would rather thank God for our blessings than hate him for problems. Life is too short to spend in worry, unforgiveness and hatred. It only cripples those who dwell in it. Today is the day that the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it ! Psalm 118:24

Comments

[Barbara Dondero]

Julie,
There are two things I truly believe:
That once each of us has filled our purpose...whatever that may be....we are called home to God.
And the other:
God never gives us more than we can bare.
In both cases, this seems to be true of you and Russ. Russ must have fulfilled God's purpose for him here on earth. And obviously...and I know it has NOT been an easy road for you.....he has given you the strength to go on. You are an amazingly strong woman with enormous faith and an inspiration to so many of us who read your blog. You are in my prayers.

[Sandra K]

And professionally, as a sonographer, I hate the bit when you realise you have found something that is going to rock your patient's (and their family's) world. It sticks with you.
Thinking of you as you mark all the milestones in the months ahead.

[Sandra K]

It sure has been an emotional year. Thank you for letting us share in your journey. I know from what you have shared and what I know of God that He has always been there for you and your family. And always will.
Love to you.

[Rebecca]

You have been amazingly strong this past year. I can hope that our dear friend and DH cousin can be strong as well I might send her to your blog for strength. Your faith is strong and I hope that it will continue to comfort you and your family.

[Evette K. Ciampo]

"God bless you and keep you, may he make his light shine upon you and give you peace". Bless you and the boys alway. ekc I know that Russ is at peace and painfree in the arms of the Lord.

[Sandi Street]

Julie,
I hope you know what an inspiration and strength you are!!!!
Sandi

[Lisa H]

Yes Amen!

[Pam Clay]

Your blog continues to be a blessing to me. Thank you for your honesty, creativity, courage and faith.

[Beth]

Although I know you only from your blog, I feel like I know you and wish I could reach out and give you a hug. Your unwavering faith in God is amazing. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

[Linda Peterson]

I remember a year ago and was devastated for you. I am so amazed and inspired by how well you have done this past year. I know God has been with you every step of the way. I have learned thru your faith. God bless you and your sons!

[Kim Kowal]

Julie,
Your strength and faith continue to amaze me. You are truly an inspiration. I continue to keep you and the boys in thoughts and prayers. God Bless!!
Hugs,
Kim

[Sonia Jung]

You are an amazing woman Julie! Thank you for being an inspiration to many.

[Mististamps4fun]

Even though this has been painful to watch you go through, you amaze me everyday! I have taken the same attitude for trials in my life. Often I have to stop and give the glory and worship where it needs to be. Knowing that helps me refocus! Strength will rise when we wait upon the Lord!!!

[Michelle in NH]

Julie,
I can only say what so many others have said before - you are an inspiration and I believe that you help others remain in their faith. Thank you so much for letting us into your life and I hope that our prayers continue to help you and your boys. You are amazing - stay true!

[Sav O'G]

I am so sorry for the trials and pain you have been through this last year--but I know that God has great plans and everything is for His glory!! And praise God that you have decided to praise Him during your storms! What an example for us!

Thinking of you and your family!! HUGS!!

[Donna MacKenzie]

Julie, you are inspiration to so many people. You have been through so much heartache, yet have remained steadfast in your faith. God is good & he see's us through the dark days & gives us strength & courage.
Thank you for sharing your journey & encouraging so many with your story.
Hugs & prayers
Donna M.

[Lori Burkitt]

Julie, I still continue to pray for you and your young sons. The word "cancer" can be so scary. My father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer last Friday. So, our journey begins.

Hugs to you.

Lori Burkitt

[cindyb]

You are such a courageous, strong women - such an inspiration to so many - even if we only know you thru your blog. Thank you for sharing - over this past year you have helped me to look at all that I have and to value our fragile lives more dearly. God bless!

[adele udy in las vegas nevada]

Julie you amaze me! I needed to read your words today. They have truly inspired me! You continue to inspire us. Thank you thank you thank you my friend.

[adele udy in las vegas nevada]

Julie you amaze me! I needed to read your words today. They have truly inspired me! You continue to inspire us. Thank you thank you thank you my friend.

[Venessa]

Even tho I only know you from following your journey through your blog - I have talked about you and your faith to many others! Even thru trial you have proven faithful and that is such an encouragement to me and so many others. God will continue to bless you as you follow Him. I would love to meet you someday and will continue to follow your blog! Blessings and hugs,
Venessa

[Kathy Benko]

Wow, you amaze me everyday. Thinking of you always. (((HUGS)))

[Gabrielle Rogers]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Julie. You continue to encourage all of us you share your journey with.God bless you and your little family today and always. May the Lord be close to you - especially today! Love, Gabrielle

[annemarie]

Amen to

helen's VK last words. Many A nights when I pray, you and the two boys are in my thoughts.
He carried you over the last 12 months, He will keep on carry you! INDEED GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!
ANNEMARIE
south Africa

[Janet Van Rossen]

You and your boys are never far from my thoughts Julie. You are in my prayers and I know God will keep you strong and safe in his care. The way you have handled Russ's illness and passing is to be admired. I wish you every good fortune for the future.

Janet xx

[Becky Jo]

Julie, it's hard to believe it's been a year. I cried as I read your post. I've followed your blog for some time now. You are such an inspiration to others! Your gift of sharing and being able to put things into words that you are feeling is amazing to say the least! My thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys always. Big Hugs!!!

[Shoregirl]

What a BEAUTIFUL attitude and inspiring post!
Really puts the troubles in my own life in perspective!
I originally found your blog through a tutorial link back here so I didn't get in on the story as it unfolded.
My heart goes out to you as you face what must be difficult days.....you'll be in my prayers as you come to mind.

[Marie-Josée Trudel]

I hug you, Julie...

[Helen Ding]

I've read your blog for some time and am continually humbled by the way you have dealt with the immense and devastating changes over the last 12 months.
During that time I lost both my parents-in-law and pray I have half the faith and strength you continually show us. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[Tammy]

Julie, Thoughts going out to you and your young men. I too have lost 2 loved ones in the last 6 years, one to cancer and one to suicide. I was angry and had much hatred, but I have a family of my own and I think they are what made me move on. I miss my dad and my brother every day of my life. Instead of being angry I am remembering all the great days they were in my life. Life is too precious and short to have that much anger in it. Take this day to look at your boys and see what your husband gave you, enjoy the memories you and your husband made. I have never met you but have followed your journey through your weight loss, and the loss of your husband, I have enjoyed reading your blog, and especially your creativity. I would love to meet you one day, and take your zumba & stamping classes!!!

[Lisa Brown]

God bless you, Julie!

[Gabby]

Julie - My thoughts are with you. I will take from this message:

"There are so many others less fortunate than me and I would rather thank God for our blessings than hate him for problems."

I will remember your words each day. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and experience with us. You are a tool in God's hands. He, through you, is touching many lives. Gabby :)

[La Vonne Wood]

Dear Julie, I have enjoyed your web site for some time now. Your faith in God is amazing. He is a great comfort to those who know Him personally. I can't imagine life without Him. He will always be with you and the boys and will take care of you. Jer. 29:11-13 is one of my favorite passages. Thank you for your inspiration to your many Facebook friends.

[chrisd]

Thinking of you and keeping all of you in my prayers each day!

[Jaelynn Haws]

You are such a great example to all of us. Thanks for being strong and showing us how to be positive in the unfortunate situations we all face. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us :)

[Gail S.]

God will honor the way you have trusted in Him and for your faithfulness to Him! I'm sorry for all you have been through, but we don't have the answers, God does.

[Nancy]

Amen! :o)

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1227877782]

I love what you said about life being too short for worry and unforgiveness. I'm posting that on my FB page. Thank you for sharing your story... I've read it all along, but never commented. You're an inspiration, whether you realize it or not.

[Linda L]

Hi Julie,
Once again you've helped me wash my cheeks with tears! These are a combination of tears that share your pain, and also tears of joy for knowing how completely our God comforts those who mourn! Thank you once again for sharing your journey with us. You and the boys continue to be in the my heart and prayers.
((HUGS))
Linda

[Peg]

Big hugs on a difficult day. You and the boys are on my thoughts and in my prayers today.

[wendy vandebogart]

WOW...once again you inspire me....your strength and....I can't even put into words, what else you have shown through this year. Amazing woman you are...it's so hard to know what else to say..the words seem so small to describe the way i feel.

[Lynne Hurlburt]

You and the boys are always in my prayers and I know Russ is watching over all of you and is so proud of you all. Hugs n' Stuff, Lynne

[Denise Willerton]

Julie, what a beautiful testament to your faith in the Lord. We don't have to understand the why do we, if God will bring us to it, He is also faithful to walk us through it. Your life shows that Julie, I will be praying for you and your boys ~ thank you for sharing your heart ~ you have blessed me ~ Denise, a child of the King

[Linda Henry]

Julie, every time I read something about You and Russ I become more inspired! You truly are a wonderful person!

[Kathy T]

Thanks for sharing this so very personal journey with us. I can't help but think that your testimony is going to help someone who will be walking the same path.

[Vivian]

Julie you are an amazing gift to God. His rewards of comfort and peace come to those who ask, you did.
Bless you and your boys!

[Jen Guarino]

Your faithfulness is so humbling to see. Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us. I am so sorry that Russ is gone, and praise God for the grace you have in dealing with everything you have been through.

[Helen]

I wish I could say I couldn't relate to the rockin of ones world. Still seems so fresh. Thinking and praying for you and your boys often Julie. God is good.

Helen VK