What A Song!

I was driving home from the city today and heard this song.  Now, I had heard this song many times before, but with what happened in the city, I had heightened emotions.  Today, I had to go pick up the Father's Day gift that I had ordered for Russ back in May.  It got here last week, and he will never even enjoy it.  Then I went to the bank, and need to go back tomorrow with a death certificate to have things totally changed there. Proof that my husband died.  That is really hard to type. And then I heard this song.

 

It just really hit me.  PLEASE DO NOT feel sorry for me.  I am not typing this for pity - prayers yes, pity no. I will get through this and be a stronger person for it.  Through it, I am learning to be a better mother (patience is a virtue), and can also can empathize with, and be an ear for, someone going through a similar circumstance.  I also am learning that I am stronger than I ever realized, but in a good way, not a denial issue. It also helps to talk to you all.  But mostly, I talk to God.  I have realized the value of prayer.

1 Timothy 5:5 "The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help."

He has truly upheld me, so I in turn, can be a safe haven for our boys. This is also possible because of all your prayers and encouraging words.I can never say thanks enough, to you.

Comments

[claudia]

Julie, you are a strong person and of course have to be for your children. Please keep your friends and family close as you are still in shock....I know from loosing close and dear ones to me (not husband though). we are here for you, your stamping sisters...Please make sure you keep talking to your friends and family so they can make sure you are ok...right now its like a dream!!!!!! We are all praying for you and family. i would love to send you a prayer shawl if you give e your address...its like a hug full of prayers for you!!!!!!
Claudia.stough@gmail.com

[Lynn Birus (lbirus)]

Prayers, not pity, go up for you and your family on a daily basis. My husband asked why I was crying and I told him it was because my "friend" Julie lost her husband here on earth. He couldn't understand how I could call you a friend only reading a blog... but we know! Your FRIENDS love you and take you to the Father daily!

[jessie]

You are a blessing and a true witness for the Lord. You have shown that "we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us" We pray for you and the boys. Just remember we can always trust God and He tells us to trust Him. May He continue to keep His banner over you.
jessie

[Wanda Newman]

Julie, You are a testimony to the power that is available to us in our Lord Jesus - you just drawing from that power sister!!! I know some days must be so....very hard, but I am so thankful you are choosing to lean into the amazing grace of our Lord! Thank you for sharing in word of what Jesus is doing for you! My prayers are with you!

[Helen]

Julie, every time you post you amaze me. I have just returned from SU European Convention where the keynote speaker told the Carrot, Egg, Coffee Bean story (googled it for you in case you weren't familiar with it - http://www.wow4u.com/carrot/index.html). You are so very definitely a coffee bean!

[Luciana]

Julie, when I lost my best friend (like a sister to me) I was deeply hurt and very angry. There was no comfort to be found anywhere, but then I realized that she had left lots of amazing things here on earth to hint her presence still. Now every time I see/hear/think of one of those things, a smile comes to my face and I realize how very lucky I am to have had her as a friend and how she's still in my life sending messages of companionship and love all the time. My wish for you is that you keep finding hints of Russ's love in the daily things and can feel his love around you forever. Much love,
Luciana

[Mary Cardini- Anderson]

I have lost my parents and a very dear freind. It urt each time. But I have never lost a spouse and can not begin to understand that amount of pain that you are going through. I am keeping you in my prayers and pray that you beome stringer with each passing day.

Mary

[JeanneP]

May God continue to bless you. You are an inspiration.

[Jane]

You are amazing Julie. That is all I can say ~ Hugs

[Natalie S]

Your honesty is refreshing. I hope you will continue to share your life and raw feelings here on your blog. Although we are strangers as people, our love for the Lord and prayers said for you make us sisters in Christ. I am so grateful you have a relationship with the Lord. He will keep you grounded and help you when you are down. Your strength is inspiring. God Bless You and the boys!

[Patti J.]

Julie, I just have to share... I read your blog earlier today, but had to leave and couldn't comment at that time. You specifically said, 'do not feel sorry for me', and unspoken was 'do not worry about me'. However, being the mom that I am, I left here, and sweetie, you were so heavy on my heart. I drove about 5 miles, praying for you and thinking about you, and yes...feeling sorry for you and yes...worrying about you (even though you said not to!). I reached out and turned the radio on to Joy FM, which is our Christian station, and is preset all the time in my car, and immediately, like it was programmed just for me, came Russ' song...about no pain, no suffering. Wow, did God ever slap me into not worrying!!! Love ya, kiddo - take care!!!

[Sandra K]

We're here for you buddy, through the good days and the bad. Be kind to yourself.
It's so good to know that God holds you tight.
Hugs.

[GinnaG]

Wow! very emotional. This video really helps to put voice to the emotions you are feeling. Amazing. There is Air you just need to believe and breath in/breath out.
With you in prayer and spirit.

[Peggy Maier]

Wonderful verse! God holds you in the palm of His hand & will never let you go~

[Yvette]

Julie- you truly amaze me. I keep you in my prayers and thoughts each and everyday. I stumpled across your blog just before Russ passed and I know you do not seek pity but you have my whole heart full of compassion. I would be so lost if I lost my husband and best friend. You are truly an inspiration.

[Michelle Arthur]

I love that song, but I guess I never thought of it for your situation. Little things that you wouldn't think would change will change. And it does get easier to deal with. Your kids will really help there. BTW, depression is not just a positive thought thing. You can have a great life --- and know it --- and still suffer from depression. But it is great how you are able to let your feelings out and deal with them. You are an inspiration. Keep the faith!!!

[Lisa]

I have never heard that song before. Will have to down loan that one. You are an amazing person. To go through something so difficult and be able to keep your faith. All I can say is "You go girl!!!" We love hearing from you. Sending prayers and HUGS your way!!

[Heidi Gore]

I don't know if you follow other blogs but this lady just lost her husband too.

http://www.amazingpapergrace.com/

Both of you have been an incredible testimony to the Lord.

Just thought I'd share it with you.

[Joanne]

I continue to read your messages that are all so encouraging. There will be days where you will meet new difficult challenges and these are all steps to get you through all this.
You will need times of R & R and a massage once in awhile to treat yourself.
A bit of advice when the time comes to seek a lawyer to probate a WILL (presuming once is in place) that you find a lawyer that deals primarily with estate cases. I chose a lawyer without be aware of this, and three (3) years later, nothing is resolved. My file was simply put to the bottom of the pile. I admire your strength in the Lord and you are an inspiration to me too. I still have difficult times (after 3 yrs); sometimes more so now than earlier.
It will all come, just one day at a time.
Enjoy each moment the best you can and it will bring smiles to you once again.

[cheryl]

Julie
I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to loose your husband/best friend/ your everything, my son passed away from cancer when he was 19 years old - it is with God's peace I survived - so I totally understand what you are saying. I believe you are on the right road - however hard it is & will continue to be. I found a journal was great for me - I did write in it however small or large my entry was but the best was months & years later when I look back in my journal... love & prayers to you

[Susie]

Julie, I don't usually leave comments but today was hard not too. My heart goes out to you and you continue to grieve the lost of your husband. Your strength is an encouragement to me. I lost my father back in June to an accident. Life was going great and I got the phone call to get to the hospital. And we lost him without saying goodbye. It has changed my life more then I ever expected. Shortly after he passed away I too heard this song (on a CD I have) and I couldn't listen to it because it was so hard to still wrap my head around the reality of what happened. I often think about my mother, yes I lost my father but my mother lost her best friend, the love of her life. It breaks my heart. As does your story with losing Russ.
May God continue to bless you with so much strength and courage to raise your boys and to continue on with life!!
God bless you!!!

[Rachel M.]

Sorry I meant I CAN'T wait to see...

[Rachel M.]

Juile I've been praying for you everyday. I even lifted you up at our Wednesday night church service. But, one thing is for sure...I certainly do not pity you. I admire your faith; you have been a blessing to me.

I'll continue to pray for you and your boys. I can wait to see what God still has in store for you I'm sure it will be Awesome!

[Darlene Castor]

Julie-I am so proud of you, you have been such a tower of strength-your faith is encouraging to us all. I was widowed at age 49 and that is what brought me back to the Lord. Knowing that God will never leave you or forsake you, brings joy. And knowing that Russell is waiting for you in heaven brings hope.
God bless you and your boys!

[Liz Rempel]

Oh Julie; I hear you - loud and clear. I was 33 when my husband died. My son was 9. Like you, I never knew how strong I could be, but sometimes you have to let yourself fall too, being strong all the time is hard. There will be many firsts for you in the next while, every one of them will make you a little bit stronger and get a little bit easier. Glad you had "your song" to help, my song was "For My Broken Heart" by Reba, my movie was "Ghost". They all got me through and allowed me to cry. Take care of yourself and those little boys and rely on your family, faith and friends. I'll be thinking of you always as you make this journey through grief.

[bonnie weiss]

Julie, you have been and continue to be a source of strength to many of us, in ways you may never know. While circumstances might be very different from yours, your inspiration to look forward despite unimaginable heartache, has given me personally a renewed strength and faith, that no matter what the future holds, we will get through these "times", just like you are doing right now. I know that Russ must be looking down from Heaven, so proud of you.

[Mo Moss]

You never cease to amaze me. You have such a deep faith. GOD is good

[Conniecrafter]

Yea I can see how that song would feel like it was just for you, I can only imagine that is how things feel right now, I am glad that your able to talk and get your emotions out, I think it is better for you than keeping it all bottled up inside. Pray God gives you strength to get through each and every day, one second at a time!

[Holley Mc]

I have never heard that song before! I guess I haven't had the radio on much. It's beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing it.
I had to wonder what gift ordered in May comes in November? I hope it is useful in some other way.
So much in our world and society is fake....it is good to hear "authentic" emotions. I hope you will be ok financially. Holley

[chrisd]

Everyday is a nw beginning... that phrase has gotten me through some big challenges. Thoughts and prayers continue to travel with you on your journeys.Hugs from Michigan

[Diane Fowler]

Oh, Dear Julie - society just loves rules that rub us. You are LOVED!! God holds you in his palm so tightly that you leave an imprint. My continued prayers for you & the boys.

D :)

[Mecah Dow]

Slow and easy Julie, breathe. Beautiful song! You're doing great in my book!

[Southern Stamper]

Your boys are very fortunate to have you for their mother, Julie.

[Debbie M.]

It's amazing how days like that hit you out of nowhere and yet make you stronger in the long run. Just a little info on Jordin Sparks, she's from here in the Phoenix, AZ area, she actually lived in Glendale when she went on American Idol. What a voice she has.

May God continue to watch over you and the boys and bless you all.

[Patty Stabile]

I've learned this awhile ago...we grieve not for the one who has passed, but for ourselves. Because we are left behind. We know that they are in a glorious place and our job is to carry on here.
God only gives to us what He knows we can handle, we may think it is too much, but He knows best and our true strength is revealed.
Your are a very strong person, Russ was a very lucky man.
{{{{hugs}}}}

[MaryAnn Grove]

If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.... This is one of my many mantra's. My daily thoughts and prayers include you and the boys. But don't forget to take time to grieve. It is necessary..BUT as you do grieve, look to the Heavens as Russ is smiling down and sending his strength, to you.

[Margaret Andres]

Julie, when I think oF the word "widow" a woman your age never enters my mind and yet there are many young widows. I know that God is sustaining you and He brings you to our minds many times during the day, making me ask, "what is she going through right now" so then I pray, trusting Him to comfort. Sometimes we think miracles are Bible time happenings but the strength you have For each day is a miracle from God, it's not denial, like you said but truly prayers being answered. Praying For you as I start my day and as God brings you and the boys to mind.

[Agustina]

May God continue to bless you and continue to give you this wonderful strenght you have. You are an inspiration to many of us in every sigle way!! I continue to pray for you and your family, HUGE ciber hugs to you!!{{{Hugs}}}
Agustina

[Misti]

{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}} BIG SMILE! MUCH LOVE!

[Diane Kent]

YES! Julie! Continue to take care of yourself, your naturopath is right, depression can sneak up on you just like the flu or any other illness, if the body is super stressed. But it is obvious that your love of God and your precious boys will keep you on the positive. You are doing all the right things, including letting us share this journey with you. Thank you for that privelege. You will always be in my prayers.

[Angela]

Julie,
I'm amazed at your strength during this difficult chapter of your life.
I too went thru a horrible chapter in my life and pretty much shut out the world for awhile. If it wasn't for my 3yr old at the time who I had to be there for.. I don't think I could have made it. I sometimes find it hard to continue to have Faith...but reading your posts just gives me strength and not to ask "WHY"...continued prayers to you and family.
THANK YOU

[debbie r]

you don't need to apologize for anything. this is a great way for you to work thru everything. just let it out. none of us would want to go thru the same things you are going thru right now. may god be with you in these times.

[Heidi Gore]

With all that you have been going through you have been such an amazing testimony to God's amazing grace. Only God knows the impact of the words you type and how they will bless others and help them through their difficult times too. You remain in my prayers as God lays your name on my heart.

[Renee Ondrajka]

I believe the Lord will use you in great and mighty ways because of what you have gone through. Prayers and hugs!

[Gabby]

Julie - I believe that Heavenly Father will carry you through this and that Russ is walking with you. That is how I felt when my husband died and then when it was time for him to let go, he did. With all my heart, I tell you this. My heart and tears go out to you, sweet sister.

[Jenn Doerksen]

What a tough day! My prayers continue for sure. Thanks for sharing the song...it brought tears to my eyes and a familiar feeling. I thank God for the woman that you are and that He is continually shaping you into. What a blessing to your boys and all of us who know you. (((hugs)))

[deb]

I keep you in prayer, and your children. God has you in his loving arms.....Just keep looking up. Hugs to you!

[Terry Molineux]

Wow Julie what a song.you are amazing...you sound like you are very strong and I am in awe of you! I know I would crumble. It's your closeness with GOD that is guiding you to help you through this for you and the boys...

So glad to hear you are on the mend...My thoughts and prayers are with you!

[Jane]

This song is blocked in New Zealand!!!! Have enjoyed your other songs/videos. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Lorri]

WOW, Julie, powerful post today! I am in awe of you. It is evident you have a close relationship with the Lord. THANK YOU for your encouraging words, especially for anyone out there who has gone through this, or will go through this. You are a LIGHT! God Bless, and prayers continue to go your way!