But not the holiday kind.
Yesterday was the funeral for Russ' dad, my FIL.
Sunday was the viewing and I gave the boys the option to go or not. They both chose to NOT go see Grandpa, for which I was grateful. I went alone and WOW - not good. I sat and shook the whole time, I could not stop crying. I did not think it would be like that at all. If I had known, I probably would not have gone.
The burial was in the morning before the funeral, and I could not go to that. I had a hard enough time sitting there and seeing pictures of Russ with his family during the funeral. Then, one of the final pictures was this one ...
They had put the words on the picture "Give Russ our love", and that was so hard to see. It just seems so wrong that they are both gone in less than 6 months from each other.
1 step forward, 10 steps back. People ask me how I am feeling, and this is what I compare it to. It is like putting a bandaid on a fresh sore. After the scab has grown on to the bandaid, you rip it off. The healing had started, but now it must start over. While it may not take as long to scab over this time, it hurts as much as the first time. This week has been one of very little sleep, and lots of tears. The boys are having a tough time, as well, and I am starting to feel drained.
It is very overwhelming to have everything on your plate and know that no one else is there. And I don't mean family and friends, I mean that one person that is in your corner, no matter what. The one you have your long talks with, the one who is your helpmate. It gets very lonely.
Please pray for me, that I can get back on track. I feel like things are falling apart, but I know God is with me, even through that.
Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."
You will do things you thought you would never have to do - God is there every step of the way
blessings
Posted by: Sue | April 25, 2011 at 01:31 PM
Julie you and your children remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Mary
Posted by: Mary Havlovic | April 23, 2011 at 03:50 PM
Julie,
Know that there is an entire family of stampers in your corner, praying for you. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your pain with us. We all hope that every day will bring a new glimmer of sunshine into your life.
Posted by: Julie Dean | April 19, 2011 at 06:55 PM
Oh my darling girl. Love to you and the boys. It must be very difficult having to revisit those feelings again. Praying for you.
Posted by: Sandra K | April 17, 2011 at 07:58 PM
Peace be with you!
Posted by: Annemarie | April 17, 2011 at 07:20 PM
Sending you a big squeezy hug, Julie all the way from Western Australia. I have tears for you and no words to help just that you are in our prayers...fellow stamper.
Posted by: Robyn Oliver | April 16, 2011 at 08:09 PM
Oh Julie! I am so sorry to hear of your "new" struggles! I pray that you can feel the cyber-hugs and prayers that are surrounding you! I read somewhere that when you feel you are at the end of your rope, you merely need to reach out one hand and touch the hem of the Robe of God!
Hope the days will soon be brighter!
Posted by: Pat | April 14, 2011 at 01:45 PM
You are in my prayers. God bless x
Posted by: Georgie in Somerset | April 14, 2011 at 07:16 AM
I feel your pain. I took my kids overseas to visit my family including my 89yo grandmother who raised me. She went into hospital the 4th day we arrive with a stroke and passed away 3 days later. There are no words to describe the hole it creates and nothing anyone says really makes it better. I took my 2 kids under 3yo to the funeral and the cremation the following day. In a way I was glad I took them because they kept me together and gave me the strength to fly home to my husband the very next day. May the Lord be with us in these difficult times and may He be our strength and may His presence be with us to comfort us and gives us peace.
Posted by: Rayne Chan | April 14, 2011 at 07:06 AM
Praying for you and the boys Julie. We are all family so as family we join in your grief and your triumphs. Do as our Lord directs you to. We love you Julie. Ask for strength and it will be given. I cry and ache for you all but give those boys tons of hugs and you are still hugging a part of Russ. Love always from NY state USA. ekc
Posted by: Evette K. Ciampo | April 14, 2011 at 07:01 AM
My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry to hear you have had to endure another loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Terri Moore | April 13, 2011 at 09:45 PM
Julie, you do not know me but I read your blog everyday. My heart aches for you. I admire your strength and amazing abilities. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you
Posted by: Tanya | April 13, 2011 at 08:09 PM
I once read a woman's story of struggle, and she said (speaking of her husband) "I remember the man he used to be and that helps me be the woman I need to be." This thought has helped me in times of despair. I share it with you, for I know not what else I can do to help.
Posted by: Redbud | April 13, 2011 at 08:01 PM
I am sad that "your corner" is so empty and lonely - praying for you.
Posted by: Wanda Newman | April 13, 2011 at 07:38 PM
Oh, Julie...my heart is breaking for you and your boys. I am praying for comfort and strength for your family and especially for peace for you. You are an amazing woman of God. Rest in his strength.
Posted by: CindyHoffmannSmith | April 13, 2011 at 06:27 PM
It certainly can be difficult days ahead. I hope that you can think of the wonderful things that are in your life right now, your boys are your gift from Russ.
Psalm 34:18, I hope it helps:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Posted by: Joi | April 13, 2011 at 05:52 PM
Julie ~ I am sorry to hear about your FIL. To go through another loss can stir all those tough emotions. In January, I lost another Brother very unexpectedly. On the day of his funeral, I received a call that my friend from college had lost her battle with cancer. So, my husband and I attended two funerals in one day. Very exhausting. I decided then that I would go to a grief class to make sense of my losses. I only have a couple of weeks of class left, and I think it has helped me. I am going to leave you with a quote from a card I received for my Brother's funeral, but it is something we do at the end of grief class.
"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." ~ Hellen Keller
Julie, just to let you know you are not alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you and the Boys during this most difficult time.
Posted by: PeggyF(lefsegirl) | April 13, 2011 at 05:35 PM
I just sent up a prayer. Bless you. My heart aches for you but your faith will bring you through this. I read your blog in amazement at how strong you are, I hope if I ever have to face anything like this I can follow your example and just give it all to God.
Posted by: Susan Rothbauer | April 13, 2011 at 05:13 PM
I totally get what you are going through. My husband passed away this past September......cancer. My prayers are with you.
Posted by: Joy Jones | April 13, 2011 at 03:40 PM
Thinking of you all at this very sad time, I'm sure your have the courage to keep on the right track and continue this journey. Sending you a big hug and good wishes, take care xxx
Posted by: Angela | April 13, 2011 at 12:13 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys, your MIL and the rest of your family. May you actually feel the blanket of the Lord's love around you now...more than ever!
Love, Gabrielle
Posted by: Gabrielle Rogers | April 13, 2011 at 11:57 AM
Hugs and prayers for you and the boys Julie. I am so sorry you had to face this now. Keep close to God if you can - he will hold you - underneath are the everlasting arms.
Debbie
Posted by: Debbie | April 13, 2011 at 05:14 AM
Bless you! You and the boys are in my prayers and may God envelop you in his Love and help you see you are surrounded by Love as well!
Posted by: Shelly Schmidt | April 12, 2011 at 10:38 PM
Julie,
There is nothing that anyone can say to you right now that you haven't already heard a hundred times. What we can do is pray that God will be right there beside you, giving you strength to go on, even in the darkest hours.
Posted by: Carol | April 12, 2011 at 10:31 PM
I am so sorry.... ((((Hugs)))) to you and the boys. Your in my prayers.
Posted by: Janine A | April 12, 2011 at 10:26 PM
hi Julie,
my heart bleeds for you and your situation, God is good, but it can be hard to see how. I think of you often and send prayers to you and the boys, please know that you are not alone, that around the world we are with you. all my love and hugs, Kathy
Posted by: kathy | April 12, 2011 at 09:16 PM
My prayers are with you and your boys.
Posted by: Emma O. | April 12, 2011 at 08:48 PM
OH, Julie--I am soooooo sorry! I I am so sad for you--please know that we are lifting you up in prayer and that God is with you the entire time! Keep your trust in Him!
Posted by: Sav O'G | April 12, 2011 at 08:05 PM
Julie--when I check my different blogs--I always go to check yours. You are in my thoughts & prayers. I'm so sorry that you are having to go thru these extreme losses. We can not question why? but it is so hard. I am very blessed to have my husband of 42 years--but have had great losses of Dad, Mom, Brother, Sister, Mother & Father-in law, Sister-in-law all within a few years. Keep your head up and always remember that those dear boys are looking to you for your strength & support during this time for them. Love ya!
Posted by: Evie Shambley | April 12, 2011 at 07:03 PM
You and your Family have been in my Thoughts and Prayers. Sending you big HUGS!
Posted by: ~Chris~ | April 12, 2011 at 06:41 PM
Ya know...you and your boys have every right to miss your precious loved ones. Solomon said there is a time for everything....the highs and the lows. I am glad that you share your feelings and let us love on you. It is so much better than keeping it all pinned up inside. And I know that God is loving on you guys too. {{{HUGS}}}
Posted by: Julie Carlisle | April 12, 2011 at 06:36 PM
Dear Julie, My heart goes out to you and your boys . . . I stumbled across your site from a post you had on Splitcoast . . . I am thankful I did . . . God Bless and keep you and yours . . . I will keep you in my prayers. ~xo~ (my own little symbol for angel hugs)
Posted by: Betty | April 12, 2011 at 06:15 PM
Dear Julie
I recently came upon your blog and spent a good amount of time going back through your postings. My husband of 34 years passed away very suddenly on Christmas Eve day six years ago. He walked out of the door with a smile on his face and 20minutes later he was gone. We had been together since we first met in 3rd and 4th grades. The one person who could help you get through a loss as devesating as this is the one who is gone. As you know you put one foot in front of the other and get through another day. Over these last 6 years I have come across a couple of sayings and a mantra that I have repeated often to myself..."I will walk again, I may limp and I may cuss, but I will walk again.". You are certainly walking with dignity and are doing Russ proud. There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn and people we can't live without but have to let go. Your boys are so lucky having you as their Mom...you are doing a great job taking care of them but please remember to take care of you too. Gretchen Kemp put into words what lives in my heart for my Husband and I'm sure for you and yours ~ "There's a place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."
lynn
Posted by: Lynn | April 12, 2011 at 05:44 PM
Julie, you're in my thoughts and in my heart. Wish there was more I could do for you. In the mean time, I will continue praying for you and your sons to get through this so-called nightmare. It's never easy but so unfortunate to have also lost your FIL so soon after your husband. You're drained because you are struggling to be there for your boys, and Russ is up there encouraging you ~ knowing you can do it. Please take time for yourself and try to relax. You MUST retain your health! A distant hug to you!
Posted by: Kathy Mc | April 12, 2011 at 05:27 PM
I saw this somewhere and copied it.
"I hope you find comfort in reflection upon a life well lived. "
Sending you and the boys healing prayers. Hugs n' Stuff, Lynne
Posted by: Lynne Hurlburt | April 12, 2011 at 04:18 PM
Hugs, kisses, and prayers from me.
Posted by: Jenn | April 12, 2011 at 03:55 PM
Oh sweetie - this has got to be SO hard for all of you! Remember that even though you can't converse, Russ is still there for you. You can talk to him and you can ask him to help deliver your prayers. He still loves you and he is watching over you and the boys all the time.
Go ahead and feel badly - cry, pull the covers over your head, do what you and the boys need to do to get on the other side of this pain. Like a big storm, your tears and railing against the unfairness of this all will bring more and more peace as time goes by. You will never get "over" this but eventually the good memories and feelings will overtake the pain.
My prayers are with you and keep posting so we can keep telling you how truly amazing you are!
Posted by: Bren | April 12, 2011 at 02:55 PM
Thinking of you all Julie hugs x
Posted by: liz | April 12, 2011 at 02:16 PM
When my Dad died, and I was crying, a special friend said to me, "Just cry. Those are Jesus' tears flowing through your eyes. The Lord will heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. This Bible verse was spoken at my mother's funeral who died when I was 1 1/2 and she was 33, and my Dad's funeral; he was 84. And God did bind up my Dad's wounds, as God sent us a new wife and mother who raised me from age 3 on. She is now 91! May the good Lord keep you!
Posted by: Pat | April 12, 2011 at 02:14 PM
Hi Julie, sending you and the boys my prayers.
Rene from OZ xo
Posted by: Rene Stansell | April 12, 2011 at 02:14 PM
It almost seems like anything I say it just isn't enough or helpful, and I can't say that I totally understand... I lost my dad 6 years ago next week on my husbands Bday actually. I couldnt believe how paralizing that news was, and I cant truly compare it to your situation as it wa my Dad, important to me but I didnt live with him or share intimate thoughts or moments with him, so I can only imagine your pain. But something I have found is when I have lost my self in service it helps me deal with hard or sad times. I try to find people who need help and others who can benifit from my time or abilities. I hope that you might find peace soon, and I sit here and think to myself what a strong and amazing soul you must be. You have carried your adversity when it might have finished others. You are inspirational and an amazing woman, just think of how many people you touch and comfort here on your blog. There are probably twice as many people that read and get inspiration from your posts that never leave comments. You and your story helps others and I pray for you and your boys and I wish I had something profound to say to help you feel better but I dont, I just hope you know how you are affecting others in this big wide world. Your boys are so lucky to have you as a mom, I think how they will turn out and what kind of amazing men they will be because of your influence and example. You should be proud of the little accomplishments each day especially with them, those boys will make some woman so happy one day. I thank my IL's every day for raising a son that is such a gem. You will be that mother-in-law one day and your boys will be so proud of you when they can fully grasp all that you did for them. We are all praying for you and thank you for your inspiration.
Posted by: Erin Gonzales | April 12, 2011 at 01:45 PM
Sending my prayers and love.
Posted by: Lori A. | April 12, 2011 at 01:42 PM
Hi Julie,
Once again your words have washed my cheeks with tears! My heart goes out to you, and the boys, and all of Russ' family. I know that your FIL's passing has only amplified your loss. I think of you often, and continue to hold you in my prayers.
I know from personal experience how prayer brings strength and healing right in the midst of grieving. Rest in God's loving arms and allow Him to comfort you as only He can.
The picture of Russ and his dad is just beautiful. I imagine it is from your wedding day.) I see such joy and love in both of their eyes! Remember those special moments, and don't be afraid to allow the tears to flow ~ there is a healing in that release.
Hugs and prayers,
Linda
Posted by: Linda L | April 12, 2011 at 01:37 PM
I too have been a reader of your blog for a while now and have never responded to a blog before (yours or any others). But I wanted to let you know you will get through this...it's tough, I know. I lost my grandfather in Nov 1990 (1 week before Thanksgiving), my mom Feb 1991 (2 months before my 21st birthday) and 1 of my aunts in Apr 1991...3 very close family members within 6 months of each other. At times you wonder how much more you can handle, but God is there and will get you through. Please know I pray for you and your boys each and every day. Know God's love will carry you through these hard times. God Bless you and your boys!
Posted by: Leann Farmer | April 12, 2011 at 11:27 AM
More prayers coming your way and {hugs} for you and your family.
Posted by: Nadia | April 12, 2011 at 11:15 AM
Praying for you Julie!
Posted by: Carol Emery | April 12, 2011 at 11:13 AM
We are all praying for you and sending our love. You are amazingly strong, you've proven that. Keep it up
Hugs
Posted by: brenda | April 12, 2011 at 11:10 AM
I've been a regular reader of your blog for a bit now, but have never posted a comment. I feel that this is a great time to do so. I lost my mom to cancer two years ago, on my 30th birthday. It is different than losing a spouse, but she was my best friend, as I know Russ was yours. I can't really compare it to your situation, but I know how difficult it was to go through. I've been amazed at how positive you've been through the whole situation, from the illness to this additional loss. Your outlook amazed and inspired me. Allow yourself to grieve for Russ' dad and don't beat yourself up for feeling a renewed sense of loss for Russ. Keep the faith and deal with your grief how you see fit. No two people deal with grief the same way and your journey is just that...a journey. One with highs and lows, ups and downs. Certain days it will seem easier, some more like a "band-aid" day all over again. You've shown you have the strength to get through those days and celebrate the easier ones. Understand that you need one to have the other. Praying for you!
Posted by: Misti | April 12, 2011 at 10:46 AM
My prayers are with you and your family.
Posted by: Michelle James | April 12, 2011 at 10:43 AM
Julie, we're all behind you. I hope you can feel that.
Posted by: Cindy | April 12, 2011 at 10:06 AM
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Remember God is with you.
Posted by: Janis | April 12, 2011 at 09:36 AM
I do know how you are feeling. My husband of 40 years passed to his heavenly home on apr 10 ,4years ago.
some body told me it gets better in time. it does not get better, just different. This past Sunday affected all my family,even GChildren.There are times when my heart is breaking,& don'tknow why, I look at the calander & then know way. It is by prayer & knowing Jesus is with me all of the time! & some day I will be where my husband is now.
Posted by: Barb Gillespie | April 12, 2011 at 09:36 AM
I feel for you Julie. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. Looking at the picture of Russ and his dad must be very difficult for you - it was for me! But, what a beautiful picture it it, and hopefully, in time, you'll be able to look at it and remember two wonderful men in your life. As others have commented, I have never met you, but I feel like you are a wonderful friend, and I wish I could "be there" to help you through the day. Maybe we'll meet someday - you are an incredible woman!! Love to you and your boys.
Posted by: Janet | April 12, 2011 at 09:32 AM
Oh, Julie, I sit here crying for you and your boys. No one can truly know the hurt you are going through. I wish you could feel all the LOVE the we all have for you. I'm not going to quote Scripture to you, you know them better than I. Just know this, I will continue to pray for you and your beautiful boys. XOXOXO
Posted by: Linda | April 12, 2011 at 09:27 AM
My heart is breaking for you and your little ones. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. I think of your family often and pray for continued strength.
Charmaine
Posted by: Charmaine | April 12, 2011 at 09:03 AM
My love, my prayers and my hope for you and your boys Julie. Just read all the wonderful comments people sent you...such a blessing it must be to read them. So many people you do not know praying for you. How blessed you and the boys are. May not seem so now but it is true. God bless u each and every moment of each day. Hugs!!!
Posted by: Evette K. Ciampo | April 12, 2011 at 08:50 AM
Thoughts & Prayers are definitely sent your way.
Posted by: Betty | April 12, 2011 at 08:47 AM
will pray the pain lessons very soon, I can't imagine what your going through right now, it must be even more confusing for the kids, may God bless you all with peace and strength to get through the days
Posted by: Conniecrafter | April 12, 2011 at 08:32 AM
Your post brought a lot of tears to a lot of eyes...that is a good thing. They are not pity but are each one of us accepting a little of your pain as we offer our prayers. And in time (you must hate that phrase) this fresh pain will fade, and you'll continue to grow in strength and wisdom. Thank you for sharing - the fact you can and are willing to share shows how strong you really are. God bless.
Posted by: Diane Kent | April 12, 2011 at 08:32 AM
Julie, so sorry for your renewed pain. My prayers are with you, the boys and your extended family.
Posted by: GinnaG | April 12, 2011 at 08:21 AM
Praying for you
Posted by: S | April 12, 2011 at 08:13 AM
i know you are having a tough time right now. you know it will get better, and it is through these stuggles of life that we grow and become who God means us to be. He never said it would be easy but that He would be by our side, the one set of footsteps in the sand when we feel we cannot carry on
Posted by: bethann disciasco | April 12, 2011 at 08:04 AM
Julie,
Continued prayers for you and your boys. What a difficult time for you and do remember that God is in your corner to help you through this.
Posted by: Susan | April 12, 2011 at 07:57 AM
I can not imagine what you are going thru. I won't even try. When I was carrying my son that I knew would die when I gave birth to him, all I could count on is that Jesus is there. Rest and trust on that. His plan, his timing, but he is there.
Posted by: Melanie Sullivan | April 12, 2011 at 07:44 AM
Julie,
I have never commented on a blog before, but I have been reading yours for quite a long time. I have been offering prayers on your behalf through all of this. You have already received some good words of support, and I agree with many of the things that have been said, and I ditto them. I will add....Your father in law, and your husband, who STILL loves YOU are also praying for you. You WILL be able to see them again one day. (not soon!) I understand how alone you feel, even though you know you have them looking out for you, and even though you have your Heavenly Father....and your Savior, Jesus Christ right there...encircling you with His arms of love. There will still be those times of feeling all alone...and that does feel hard.
Your feelings are natural, a natural part of grieving. Cry when you need to. (even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom and turn the water on to not be heard) Get as much rest as you can, and eat as healthy as you possibly can! Can you still do your Zumba? Exercise will also help you function better when you are feeling wiped like this. Are you taking Omega3 fish oils? B Vitamins? These will also help.
I would also suggest something that may seem overwhelming to you, but would help. Look around you....what good act can you do to or for another that can help you pull out of your trials, and onto helping someone else? Gratitude and service can be so healing! I know this to be true. But again....you don't want to stress yourself too much. Maybe doing something fun and uplifting for your boys. Maybe it would involve creating something you could share or give to another person lacking. (we all know how very creative you are!)
One more thing....my husband's father passed away when he was 6. Having pictures of him, and talking about him, and the kind of person he was, and the things he loved, and to hear how much he loved and wanted them. These things were very helpful to my husband. I have heard about my husband's dad so much, that even I feel like I know him, when he died more than decade before I even met my hubby!
You will continue to have my prayers, and my support, and even my live, even though we have never met. I do love you, I care about you, I have cried more than once for you, and will continue to care, and pray for you! If you ever need a spare grandma type friend in the Chicagoland area of Illinois...just let me know, I am there!
Hang in there! You will be able to get past the very hard parts step by step. (((((HUGS)))))
Love, Pam from Illinois Volk7@aol.com
Posted by: Pam | April 12, 2011 at 07:42 AM
Julie death is difficult for those our loved ones leave behind. I always compare grieving to the tide, it's ebb and flow. You are going to feel this way for a while, with the highs and lows. You think it's getting better and then bang something happens and you are right back to the pain. You are still in the very early stages of widowhood and grieving. It has only been six months, it takes time to heal. Cry, scream, laugh when the moment happens. Take time for healing and know way deep down somewhere that day will come. Just a little side note, I am sitting in my breakfast nook looking out at the beautiful blossoming cherry tree I planted in memory of my father who was my love. I still miss his gentleness, but I don't cry, I smile at his tree because it is bringing me joy. Keeping you in my prayers. God will get you through one moment at a time.
Posted by: sandy | April 12, 2011 at 07:37 AM
Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Posted by: JoAnn Burnham | April 12, 2011 at 07:35 AM
All my prayers and LOVE to your family. Please know that you have a prayer army out here who love and cherish you and those boys.
Posted by: Stacia | April 12, 2011 at 07:25 AM
My dear Julie,although we tell you that you are a STRONG woman,you are just normal to feel the way you are feeling. I pray for you and the boys each day,your life through good days and bad has touched me so much.
Even my husband asks about you and we've never met,you have touched the lives of so many people and made me realize how precious my husband is to me.Sometimes we just appreciate what we have.
God will continue to help you through this difficult journey. It can't be easy I'm sure,but like my nephew told me once..."Take it one day at a time until you can take it two days a time."
Hugs to you Julie!
Diane
Posted by: Diane L | April 12, 2011 at 07:12 AM
Julie, although I've never met you in person, I've been following your blog for such a long time that I feel that I "know" you. Your post made ME cry, so I can not even imagine how you must be feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm so sorry that you are feeling so drained. But, it's ok! It's ok for you to feel this way. It's ok for you to mourn. It's ok for you to take some time for yourself. I will pray for you and your boys. I pray for support that you need to make it through each day taking care of your family. And I pray that you will feel God's love and Peace that only can come from God.
Continue to look towards the heaven to get you through each day.
~Lacey
Posted by: Lacey | April 12, 2011 at 06:58 AM
I also felt the same as the first comment Julie! God is with you, Russ is with you, as well as your family, friends and your whole group of blog followers! All praying for you and the boys, all sending hugs.
Posted by: Ilene | April 12, 2011 at 06:55 AM
Your post today brought tears to my eyes, Julie. Know that you continue to be in all of our prayers....
Posted by: Kathy M | April 12, 2011 at 06:41 AM
Julie, I am so sorry that you and the boys are having to go through so much more pain. Cling to the Lord with all your might. He is always there for you, looking after you and the boys. I pray for strength for you as you deal with this.
Posted by: Terry Deason | April 12, 2011 at 06:40 AM
Praying for you and the boys. You will get through this Julie!
Posted by: Sonia Jung | April 12, 2011 at 06:20 AM
Julie, I am so sorry that you feel depleted and drained right now. It's understandable given the circumstances, but that doesn't make it any easier. Big HUGS. I truly believe that Russ is with you always. Right here, right now. If you ever feel like you have a little itch on your cheek or your hair moved a little bit, it's a kiss from above. Know that you are loved by many.
Posted by: Catherine | April 12, 2011 at 06:11 AM
God Bless you Julie, the world has been unkind. You are strong and you will endure this too!!! Keeping you in my prays always. Hugs to you and the boys.
Posted by: Yvette | April 12, 2011 at 06:04 AM
I pray for you regularly, but will pray more specifically about your coping through another major loss that is so directly related to Russ. I agree with the one post that encouraged you to try to spend some time in the Word each day. Cling to your Father God and know that He cries with you, but is able to carry you.
I will continue to pray for you.
Posted by: Karla Reader | April 12, 2011 at 05:52 AM
So sorry to hear of you and the boys having to go thru this again so soon. I don't have any words to say to help you or ease your pain. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs and Blessings!!
Posted by: Becky Jo | April 12, 2011 at 05:50 AM
I love the first comment....so true! Many are praying for you! It is not easy.
Posted by: Venessa | April 12, 2011 at 05:14 AM
Those thoughts feelings will come, but you know just Who to turn to - the one who is your Heavenly Father. He's always faithful, even when we can' feel Him there. May He bless you & let you feel His arms around you!
Posted by: Peggy Maier | April 12, 2011 at 05:12 AM
I'm sorry...I'm praying! He won't give you more than you can handle!
Posted by: Nancy | April 12, 2011 at 04:59 AM
My condolences and my prayers are with you. You are strong, you will get through. You are not alone, though you may not always see your companion on the journey. Hugs.
Posted by: Karen | April 12, 2011 at 04:57 AM
Julie ... I just asked the Lord to comfort and strengthen you with His tender mercy! Try to spend some time each day in His word and ask Him to speak to you as you read.
Your sister in Christ,
Rita
Posted by: Rita | April 12, 2011 at 04:55 AM
Praying for you and the boys, May god continue to hold you close
Posted by: Tammy | April 12, 2011 at 04:45 AM
Prayers for you Julie.
Sherylee.
Posted by: Sherylee | April 12, 2011 at 03:57 AM
My heart aches for you. Prayers for you and the boys. Remember you are not alone...HE is by your side.
Posted by: Maggie | April 12, 2011 at 03:49 AM
Praying for you. Thought about you and the boys the other day and said a prayer. So sorry for another loss in the family. May God's love for you carry you through these painful days.
Posted by: Tammy Q Howell | April 12, 2011 at 03:35 AM
I was missing my late-husband today. The place in my life and my heart where he was, is now an empty space. When I go there, I feel empty, too. I don't avoid going there if that's where my heart takes me. but after I cry, I try to fill it full of all the wonderful years full of memories that we made. Then, when I'm ready, I leave and go to the other beautiful places in my life. But once you're in the empty place, even when you fill it full of memories you made together, it's hard to leave. Those beautiful places that you know are in your life, are hard to see and even harder to reach. It's not easy and you can only get there, my friend, one step at a time. When you're ready, step forward, Julie. We all love you. Gabby :)
Posted by: Gabby | April 12, 2011 at 03:17 AM
No words of advice, other than hang on...you are strong! Big ((HUGS)) to you and your boys.
Posted by: wendy van de bogart | April 12, 2011 at 03:16 AM
I give thanks for everything that I have and what I accomplished in my life but it is late at night, like now, when you can't sleep and you are wondering why things are the way they are! No rhyme or reason! Just is I am told when I ask why! Doesn't make it any easier. I like your analogy to the bandaid. Exactly what it feels like. It isn't fair and it is overwhelming. Hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Posted by: Okienurse | April 12, 2011 at 01:21 AM